and no black superman is gonna come and save me.

yesterday was weird. i went to erb's and gerb's with heidi for dinner because downer was going to be closed by the time we got there and the food is always really bad when you get there really late. it was good to eat off-campus. :) mmmm.... after that we went to the wildspace dance company performance. it was pretty sweet. they did really modern stuff. but i really liked it. especially this one piece for a solo guy, it was amazing. then heidi decided to go back to her room to do some stuff before she was going to alex's party. i told her i might go to the orc party and that she should call me when she was going over there. i went back to plantz and decided to go see paris. she was cleaning her room and i stayed and talked to her for awhile. jeremy (her boyfriend) stopped by, but did really say anything, but just walked down the hall to talk to a bunch of freshman. we were talking and she was cleaning (she said she didn't want help...) and she had a bunch of movies from the desk. so i took them down to the desk for her. i talked with greg for a little bit, but decided that i wanted to see paris more because i never get to see her since we don't have class together anymore. but when i came back up to her room her door was closed and her and jeremy were fighting. (verbally... i'm pretty sure) he said, 'this is what always happens when your friends come around. you leave me and forget about me. you'd rather spend time with rachel than me.' etc, etc. i haven't seen paris all week, besides quick hellos and such in passing. all i wanted to do is spend time with my friend. yes, i told her that i might want to go the orc party, and she said she wanted to go. but as soon as jeremy came around she decided that she couldn't. and even when she wanted to simply tell me that she couldn't go out tonight because jeremy didn't want to, he followed us down the stairs and wouldn't let me talk to her alone. he's so controlling and i pretty much never see her without him. he apprently gets really jealous when she goes out without him. i can't stand him now. he's always there. and he's really mean to her. paris is not a wimpy girl, but he's horrible. even worse than reid.... he told me and paris that 'even though you're vegetarian, it doesn't mean you can't try new things.' (this to trying to eat some sort of meat that was still bloody looking at downer.) he's such an asshole. i cannot stand him for five seconds. i want to be able to talk to her without having him breathing down my neck. i'm so sick of him, and i'm pretty sure that he's making her depression worse because he's isolating her from pretty much everyone. i really hate him. i really do. she needs to get away from him. or he needs to ease up. she has a mind of her own and just because you think that parties are 'wrong' and that she wants to go to them without you, you need to just stand aside. she is with you all of the time. i think that one or two nights a week you can ease up. she has the right to do what she wants. just disappear.

damn, i'm really hungry. perhaps i'll make some food... a sandwich perhaps... i have yogurt too. perhaps i'll finally get dressed as well. :) bye.