wow.

i have never been good at breaking up with friends. but i feel that it has come to that point in time for one of my friends and i. i feel that no further good or happiness will come out of our relationship. and quite frankly i just don't have time for people in my life that don't really care about me and are pretty much using me for what i can do for them. so... we're done. but yet, being as i am, i still always think that it something about me that is horribly flawed and that i have done something terrible. but i'm going to try to stop thinking like this. this person is just someone who passes through my life and i need to concentrate on those that are here for good. i need to just move forward and not worry about things that are generally not good or healthy for me.

the recital is over. it went pretty well. and i feel good about my performance... some surprising things went better than anticipated and somethings went way worse... but overall i feel really happy with the whole dealio. mostly i'm really glad that it is over and i can relax a bit. (well, actually i've pretty much been relaxing the entire week and have done nothing productive... i suppose that not dying so much is important...) but the good news is that i don't have bronchitis or pneumonia, seems the fever has successfully burned out most of the infection from me. :D oh goodie.

so overall, i'm feeling okay. a little sad. a lot relieved about the recital and not-so-serious illness. i really just want to go home for a few days and not think about everything here. i just want to run away. i don't think that will actually help or is actually possible. but only 7 weeks to go i guess....

it's alright
cause there's beauty
in the breakdown.