i love me.

that bitchy feeling has left me now. our staff meeting was so sad. so many crappy things have happened to people this week. it makes me feel guilty for having a good week. well, almost. this week has been the best. i mean, i actually had a good weekend where i didn't do anything but have fun. usually if i do nothing i'm just crabby and lonely. but i went out. had fun. might have been drunk. but i was good. i got to just forget about my stupid little problems for a few hours and relax. hm, maybe i do have an anxiety problem. i don't think it's the 'get in front of people' kind, though... cause i don't get anxious about teaching or speaking in class... mostly just about school work. not really music, but actual school work. whatever. i'm just over analyzing. i need to shower and go to sleep. and stop worrying. (at least the lesson today was good and i apparently 'played the best you have in a very long time' so that's good... i think.... but i did sound pretty sweet at that one part. so beautiful. hello cash this summer!!!) okay, gnite.