hm. interesting.

i know i make assumptions. and usually they are wrong. and most other people's are wrong, too. you can't open wounds that aren't really scars anymore. and yes, i know my view is incredibly skewed. that's why it's my view. and things are inaccurate, but i don't proofread nor try to censor my feelings here. at least as much as possible. (by the by, i was depressed senior year. but i went to therapy and got over it. even if you think i haven't) i, too, am sorry for any emotional pain i brought you. my intent was to purge my thoughts about that issue. it was good, a lovely encapsulation of that moment in history.

thus stated i would just like to say that i am very happy here. so i get angry with my friends here sometimes. who doesn't? relationships are never perfect, nor should they be. life would be too boring without any bumps along the way. i love teaching and i love making music. i have found my passion and my purpose. everyday i can walk in the con and know i'm doing EXACTLY what i want to do and am so relieved to be happy. (that isn't an attack about your choices, i'm sure your happy doing what you do and such) my blogs are like pointalistic music. listen to some webern and you'll understand. life is filled with little snipets of things and to grasp on to these little bits for a moment is what i do here. if you want to generalize about my life, that's your business. but it's hardly the whole of my world here. maybe you know that.

moving on with my life. today was the weirdest day. i ate breakfast with gus. he's a hilarious guy. i'm really glad he's was there this morning. i really didn't want to eat alone at 7am. (grr to being a morning person in a whold of nite people) i had a lesson at 10am which totally rocked. i played to well, i haven't had that productive and overall good lesson in awhile. it made me very happy. even though this computer guy got to listen to me play scales and stuff at the end of my lesson. it was weird. but he seemed to like some of the rhythm stuff (he was tapping his foot to the beat... hehe... cute...) then i went to music history. julie mcquinn is my idol. she's so smart and so amazing and so vivacious. even if she is slightly a valley girl at heart, i just love her enthusiasm for teaching. i'm really going to miss her class. she's just so knowledgeable and cool. she makes me even more excited about music, if that's really possible. so amazing!!!! then i spent the rest of the afternoon practicing and rehearsing for the atonal composition project concert. yay! even though i was playing in like 6 pieces, it was all really cool. i really loved kristen's piece and my piece (we both wrote for cello and marimba). we played them with a really cool interlude of me tuning to her beating on a rusty hubcap. it was freaking sweet. i think mr. mccardell liked it. i'm almost positive i'll get an a. awww.... i'm going to miss him. we've seen him pretty much everyday since last year. we're such a goofy class. i don't know how we are going to make it through next term without him. sniff, sniff... lump in the throat... but we're going to have a SWEET party at his house. hooray! so many things are coming to an end. sad. but so much more yet to do. whew. fasten your seat belts it's going to be a long two years. but it's going to be freaking sweet.

oh! i almost forgot. i may have entirely forgot to tell my accompanist (who happens to be the sweetest guy ever... aww... warm fuzzy...) that i needed him to play in studio today. whoops. but it's okay. thus i had to write a really dorky email, but he wrote me back a really sweet reply saying that it's okay and that... well maybe i'll just keep it to myself. somehow it seems like i should. but it was really nice i felt much better. kk, so he's a nice guy and i'm really glad that he's really chill. i don't think i could handle someone too high strung. not for my qualifying exam. whooey!!!

in other words, i am very tired. i'm going to sleep now. nik and shams i love you both so much. if i didn't have your drama to entertain me in the wee hours, i don't know what i would do. speaking of, you should call me. or i shall have to call you. but i love you both and hope that you are laughing as hard as i am about things. ('you know, i can't believe you have to deal with her, she's just so difficult' hehe....) nitey!