hello, it's me...

random thoughts tonight... lots of facebook stalking... realizing people are in fact people (thank you carl rogers...) trying to decide what time to go to sleep and what time to get up. i suppose i really should practice before my lesson... ooo, and i need to do my listening. for real real. my weird getting married dream kinda freaked me out all day yesterday. i can't even imagine getting married, beyond the fact that i have no one to marry... i feel completely not ready for that. i think it was cello studio dinner that did it to me. :) i almost sense a crush forming, yet that is just too weird for words. and would be totally and completely pointless. there's a viola party tomorrow. lots of drunken sillyness shall follow. although i fear that i will be dangerously close to another place where i prolly should go drunkenly stumble by... prolly not. i kinda hate myself drunk... but other people seem to like me more... what does that say about me.?..??... i finally deleted all unnecessicary things from my favorites and buddylists... :) i feel so much less burdened... i don't know why it took me so long. i suggest everyone really look through and weed out the places and people that you just don't want to think about. maybe i am sidestepping problems and conflicts... but i feel that i am old enough to just move on with things. dammit, it's my own life and i can do what i want with it.

i'm going home for reading period. for a number of reasons, but i think i'll be pretty happy going home. plus, i get to not be here... not that i'm unhappy, but the promise of next term makes this one just suck. i wish i could just skip it. and i'm not super into any of my classes... aesthetics is really hard for me. and i really need to just catch up. and i feel that home with let me do that... that is if i don't do what i usually do at home... which is mostly a whole lot of nothing. it'll be okay... and i can get my glasses figured out. i really wish they didn't hurt me so much. i actually really like the frames, i fear it's the anti-reflection stuff on them. specially cause i can wear them in low light but with light and on the comp it REALLY hurts. whatever... i guess..... just need to figure it out. :)

'erase and rewind, cause i've been changing my mind....'

i got my conducting tape back with d.e.b.'s comments... i love that man... soooooo much. i would have his baby. yes, yes, i would. :)